Tuesday, July 09, 2013

more travel is on the horizon... / my improvised life

... I know I should be delighted but somehow I just want to stay at home and not go anywhere.. At the same time I know that the place that I am in will not be the place that will let me spread my wings and wing spreading is beginning to take on a crucial and urgent importance.. I feel like I have long been pushed off the edge of a high cliff and MUST make a point of opening those wings lest I wish to land uncomfortably on hard ground..

The comforts or being in a place where people know my face from almost two decades of living my improvised life..  Having a history is soothing. People remembering my name and face makes me feel at home. To most people this likely is normal, to me it is extraordinary. But .. yes there always is a but...

My but involves the calling of dreams and far away places but also the necessary manouvering and relocating to be with my partner who needs to return to San Francisco. America and it's GM foods.. A woman of many principles is finding this a hard decision.

Have you ever tried to leave behind your library of books? Your kitchen (I love food), your comfortable 100% cotton bedding? You will appreciate these things beyond bounds once you have spent months or years missing them.. The main glitch is that the city that houses my comforts distinctly does not house the culture and opportunities that the rest of me needs.

Where next?! Will I join my soulshine and fly to San Francisco? I am distinctly past my mid-30's now, will I manage to make a life for myself that offers security in the future? I am beginning to sweat a little.

While contemplating the location of my bookshelf and the option of earthquake prone San Francisco I am also beginning to stretch out my feelers for a potential Phd. I have an idea now of how to proceed to try and change paths from Fine Art Focus to possibly Sociology. The route may take me via religion, ritual and dance.. Bear with me here or visit my Artist blog over on www.blogger.com/birgitdeubner
I will try and formulate my thoughts over the coming months..

Leading a uniquely individual life is a challenge sometimes... maybe it is not entirely unlike being an explorer and I do enjoy reading about those early day women travelers who made their way across deserts and mountains, far away places..... 

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